Five Lessons From The Crash Reel
One day when I was down and feeling sorry for myself a friend suggested I watch The Crash Reel. It's the story of Kevin Pearce, a pro snowboarder who in 2008 and 2009 started beating Shaun White in competitions. Two months before the Vancouver Games, he had a terrible fall that left him with a TBI in the ICU for a month, and set him up for years of rehab. The documentary follows him and his family as they try to reconcile with his new brain.
You can find it on HBOGo for free and lots of other sites for three dollars. Those three bucks will far and away be the most cost effective medical expense.
So, why was this movie really great for me to watch?
1. Adding Perspective
Kevin spent most of entire life deriving flow and pleasure from one activity that in a moment was taken away from him forever. He struggled in school with severe dyslexia but found a success and a community on the slopes. He was both a savant and put in more work than his friends. He was on the verge of possibly proving he was the world's greatest in something until that very passion led to his TBI.
And me? Well, first and foremost I'm thankful I'm not dealing with symptoms nearly as severe as his. But aside from just the physical challenges, the psychological hurdle of having to accept that the one thing that you thought gave meaning to your life could kill you if you ever pursue it again is just enormous. I've always had a diverse set of interests but more importantly had the capability and mindset to get jazzed by almost anything. Though it has been a struggle having to abandon some of the things that really got me going the most (live music, reading hard books, drinking, dancing, pushing my body physically) I always had tier two and three interests that I could pursue. Watching someone to whom it seemed like their whole life disappeared reconcile with that was really inspiring--I took the message that if someone can come to terms with what he had to, my little challenges are small fry and I shouldn't mope about them.
2. The Mental Health Struggle
Kevin's mindset pre-concussion I can relate to. We were both are extreme extroverts who love sharing experiences with lots of friends. It seemed like we both always had the most positive attitude of the group and were the ones to bring the energy up.
At one point in the movie Pearce is talking about all the meds he takes and then he turns to his Lexapro. "I'm not sure why I'm taking this because I don't feel like I'm depressed, but here's my antidepressant."
3. Highlights How Judgement is Impaired
Immediately after regaining speech, Kevin was telling the world that he wanted to get back on halfpipes and fly like he used to. His family justifiably freaked out and told him that this was crazy. It was heartbreaking to watch Kevin's brother with down syndrome beg him not to snowboard competitively again, and Kevin look at him blankly saying "no you don't understand this is what I'm going to do." These scenes put in relief just how one's perception of risk and progress gets skewed after long months in recovery, and how important it is to rely on those closest to you to sense-check your decisions.
4. Helped me refocus on all that my family and friends have devoted to me during this recovery
With the emotional impact of a concussion it's difficult to not get irritated. I am lucky to have family and friends who supported me through this recovery, but often I was curt or even on occasion cruel to them. Seeing Kevin interact with his family helped me see my behavior for what it was, and add more gratitude back into my perspective.
5. People change, and in the end that's ok
Kevn was eventually able to reconcile with losing the one thing he loved most in life with grace and dignity. The example he set for resilience and acceptance is a powerful and beautiful one.